How to Make Someone Who's Angry at You Suddenly Become Nice (Even If He's a Stranger!)

PsychologyHow to Make Someone Who's Angry at You Suddenly Become Nice (Even If He's a Stranger!) Share: Psychology How to Make Someone Who's Angry at You Suddenly Become Nice (Even If He's a Stranger!) Larry Alton Larry is an independent business consultant specializing in social media trends, business, and entrepreneurship. Full Bio We’ve all found ourselves in situations where someone is angry with us. It could be a spouse, friend, co-worker, or even a stranger! And if you’re someone who likes everyone to be happy and nice, then these instances make you uncomfortable. You want to solve the problem and make things better. But how do you make a person who’s angry at you suddenly become nice? 4 Steps to Fix the Situation Every situation is unique and you’ll have to determine how to best approach an angry person in the moment. However, in most cases, the following tips and techniques apply. 1. Don’t Retaliate The number one rule is to avoid retaliation. No matter what someone does, you can’t attack back. This will only make the person angrier. A common example of this is when someone gets angry and cuts you off in traffic because you’ve been driving slower than they’d like. If you respond by cutting them off, this will infuriate them even more. As hard as it can be, never repay an angry action with another angry action. Even though you feel disrespected, you have to put your pride aside and move on. Make sure you don’t come across as sarcastic, though, as this can infuriate an angry person even more. 2. Show Your Care Instead of acting angry, show the person that you care about their situation. You’ll find that angry people are often that way because they feel misunderstood. Taking the time to listen may be enough to change their attitude. Depending on the situation, here are some good lines: Can you tell me what’s wrong? Maybe I can help. I’m sorry you feel that way. Is there something I can do? This should have never happened. How are you feeling? Little lines like these are enough to get the angry person talking. You may eventually be able to help them see past the problem by letting them talk it out. 3. Make Yourself Human If the angry person is directing their malice towards you, the quickest way to reduce frustration is by making yourself seem more human. Tell them how their anger makes you feel – i.e. scared, confused, or anxious – and be sure to let them know that you mean no harm in your words or actions. 4. Lighten the Mood You have to be careful with this technique, but a mean person can often be quelled by lightening the mood. Consider telling a joke, flashing a smile, or adding perspective to something that isn’t really that big of a deal. Knowing when to do these things will get you far in life. Don’t Let Someone Else Ruin Your Day When it’s all said and done, it’s impossible for you to control someone else’s emotions. No matter how hard you may try, some angry people just want to remain angry. If at all possible, don’t let them ruin your day. Choose kindness and you’ll be the better person. About Lifehack Lifehack is about helping you improve your life through efficient and comprehensive learning. By leveraging the vast amount of knowledge available to us, we explore and present a wide variety of content catered to encouraging individual growth and solving problems. Learn more about our mission Advertising Recommended for You If You Understand These 5 Rules In Psychology, You Can Live A Much Easier Life 50 Soft Skills for Lifelong Happiness and Success The Only Effective Way to Talk With Children When They Are Acting Out Don't Focus on Happiness. Focus on Self Actualization Learn More About Psychology How to Stay Motivated Even Though You Can't See Yourself Moving Forward The Scientific Explanation on Why We Attract What We Are Self-Defeating Habits That Make Talented People Become Average Identify Your Attachment Style and Find Someone Who Fits Yours Love what you're reading? You're now one click away from getting all the best ideas on Lifehack for free! Subscribe to Lifehack Newsletter to end negativity and get things done fast. Scroll down for the next article Why Pursuing Happiness Will Make You End up Being Unhappy Psychology Why Pursuing Happiness Will Make You End up Being Unhappy Leon Ho Leon Ho is the Founder and CEO of Lifehack, which he started in 2005 as a way to share his personal productivity hacks to make life easier. Full Bio When we talk about happiness, we think about staying happy all the time – every single day, every single minute with zero negativity. We try to pursue this constant state of “happiness” as our goal, and avoid anything that may take it away from us. But what is the meaning of this type of “happiness”? It’s like your favorite food. The more you have of it doesn’t always mean the better. On the contrary, when you only have a chance to eat it sparingly, that’s when you really savor every bite of it. So is it the food itself that makes you happy, or is it how valuable it is to you when you are eating it? We should always remember that only by experiencing sadness do we understand what it is to be happy. Assuming others are always happy is the biggest misunderstanding of happiness. Most people see those who have seemingly perfect lives and assume they are happy all the time. Since childhood, we are conditioned to chase the idea of “happily-ever-after” that we see in fairytales. On social media, everyone tends to share only the best looking aspects of their lives (including ourselves). So it’s very easy to have a distorted view of what “happiness” is around us. In reality, there is always something missing, something lacking, or something unpleasant. No one has a perfect life. Even the most glamorous celebrities or the richest billionaires, everyone has their own set of challenges and problems. When we feel negative, we’re only focusing on a small fluctuating curve. As CEO of Lifehack, I’ve had to deal with countless problems, and some of them felt like real setbacks at the time. During those moments, it really seemed like these problems would be the life or death of my company and my life goals. But I got through them, and weeks, months and eventually years passed with many more ups and downs. You need to keep your sights on the extended curve. Looking back now, a lot of those “really big” problems at the time seem like only small blips in a long line of experiences. Recalling them in my mind now makes me smile! Stop trying to be happy. Just be. It’s natural to want to be happy as often as possible. So what can we do? First, throw away the belief that a perfect life means happiness. Personally, I would be miserable if everything was perfect. It’s from experiencing the pains of lifelong challenges that drives us to care for others when they are experiencing the same trials. If life was perfect, you wouldn’t be able to empathize. If life was perfect, you wouldn’t grow. To be truly happy, stop chasing permanent happiness. It sounds like a paradox. What I mean is, accept that there will be ups and downs throughout life. Gracefully understand that happiness is a fluctuation of positive and negative events. Understand the importance of gratitude. Instead of focusing on the unpleasant moment right now, flash back your memory to when you had or didn’t have something. I like to think about my career, for example. When I didn’t have a career I was passionate about, I felt lost and demotivated. I felt like everyone was figuring out their lives but me. But when I found my purpose and started Lifehack, I was deeply happy, even before I realized I would be successful! This memory keeps me going when there are tough spots. It takes the darkness to make us grateful for the light. Happiness and sadness exist together What it all comes down to is this: your life will be filled with beautiful, happy and incredible moments. Happy tears and joyous shouts and funny stories. But your life will also be filled with rain and storms that don’t ever seem to pass when you’re going through them. But whether your face is warmed by the sunshine, or your heart is dampened by the rain, know that it’s all part of the ebb and flow of life. Treasure the happy moments and power through the sad ones. Don’t try to avoid “sad” or “negative” experiences, and blindly chase being “happy”. In the end you will achieve a true level of contentment in your life, based on meaningful experiences and achievements. Being able to create growth and meaning out of both positive and negative events — that is the true meaning of “happiness”. References Featured photo credit: InsideOut via facebook.com About Lifehack Lifehack is about helping you improve your life through efficient and comprehensive learning. By leveraging the vast amount of knowledge available to us, we explore and present a wide variety of content catered to encouraging individual growth and solving problems. Learn more about our mission Advertising Recommended for You 50 Soft Skills for Lifelong Happiness and Success 100 Inspirational Quotes That Will Make You Love Life Again Shortcut to Happiness Happiness: The Thing We All Look For But Never Really Understand Learn More About Psychology 50 Soft Skills for Lifelong Happiness and Success What Is Love and What Is Not How to Stay Motivated Even Though You Can't See Yourself Moving Forward How to Make Someone Who's Angry at You Suddenly Become Nice (Even If He's a Stranger!) 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